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Moonlight and Mood.

This is a night like no other. I see the bright moon above me..casting a night rainbow in the clouds around. A fading beauty with a pockmarked face racing in the skies above to keep up with my ship below.

She lights up the ocean around me.. streaks of silver in the darkness. It's past midnight and it's just me and the ocean and the skies.

Stars peep through the clouds, zillions of them. Not a single man made light around me to dilute the effect of this gorgeous night sky.

My senses are at war with each other. My eyes see peace but my ears hear war. The still water surface, sparking in the moonlight is a calm like none other. But the same ocean is loud around me, forever restless. The waves relentlessly hitting against the sides of the ship, wind blowing against my face. This discordance between sight and hearing is jarring.

But it's easy for me to accept because I live in a similar discordance constantly - the one between my calm, serene brain and my loud, restless heart. 'You let your heart rule you easily' admonish my criticizers. And it's true, much to the consternation of my brain. I fiercely believe in friendship, love and trust. I don't trust easily, I don't connect easily - but when I do, I offer my heart on a silver platter - despite the warning alarms from my brain. It makes me vulnerable, this emotional stripping. The thrill of laying my mind bare and having someone see me for who I really am is indescribable. Such relationships are never made to last. Friends judge, gossip. Lovers disappear. And all I'm left with is a shattered heart and strong memories of intense feelings.

Feelings like the one this night is inducing in me. I've never seen the ocean in the moonlight. I expected a sea of black. This bright view, impossible to capture with a man made lens, is a wonder. There are so many layers and levels to this darkness - the horizon a clear dark line marking the differences between the black skies and the black ocean.

I find sunrises and sunsets on the ocean breathtaking but starting today, midnights on the water are my most favorite.

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